The Investigation on the Camping Trip
by Random Stuff About Stuff
Summary: When the entire team is sent out into the field on an investigation, an aggravating turn of events forces them to solve a murder while on a camping trip. Set mid-season 3, with all main characters present. Rated for mild swearing and violence.
1. Prologue: Blame

A/N Special thanks to a friend who will go unnamed, for taking me camping and ranting about Bones with me. Also thanks to the same friend for making me watch Bones.

Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story are fictional and copyrighted to Kathy Reichs and FOX TV. This story is for entertainment purposes only and I make no profit out of it.

* * *

It was all Sweets' fault. That was what Booth decided. After all, it was Sweets who suggested taking the whole Squint Squad out into the field at once, and who insisted on coming too. So, naturally, it was his fault.

Dr. Brennan disagreed. Although the misadventures following their investigation in the woods were exacerbated by the entire team being there, and certainly Angela, Hodgins, Zack, Cam, and Sweets wouldn't have had to suffer through them, the same events would have occurred whether they had followed Sweets' recommendations or not.

Hodgins thought it was Booth's fault, or at least the FBI in general. With as much power that the government held over the masses, they still couldn't get a damned hotel room?

Angela blamed the killer, who caused them to be out in the woods trying to solve a murder in the first place.

When asked whose fault he thought it was, Zack explained why each person his friends had blamed was both culpable and inculpable until he was told to shut up.

Sweets thought that technically anyone could be blamed, but agreed with Angela overall. He thought it was very interesting, however, that Booth turned his aggression towards his therapist, and asked if Booth found him threatening.

Cam stopped that argument by suggested that they stop blaming people and try to solve the damned murder so they could all go home.

That suggestion was very well-liked.


	2. Field Trip

Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story are fictional and copyrighted to Kathy Reichs and FOX TV. This story is for entertainment purposes only and I make no profit out of it.

A/N: One more chapter of set-up before the camping fun begins. I hope to get some reviews to motivate me to continue, since I really want your feedback on this story. I'm not used to writing these characters. Also, congratulating myself, this chapter is over twice my usual length. I'm going to try to keep that up for the entire story.

Anyway, I have decided that this is set immediately after "The Verdict in the Story," because Sweets is already observing Booth and Brennan. It is, however, before "The Wannabe in the Weeds," and nothing about the resolution of season 3 is going to be included in this story, unless I feel like a depressing epilogue.

* * *

The investigation began, as most murder investigations do, with a body. However, this body was slightly different from the others. This one was found after a mudslide, in some national park somewhere in Northern Oregon.

It was completely shattered. Even the hikers who discovered it could tell at first glance that the mudslide couldn't have done this. A rock slide couldn't have done this. Not one bone was completely intact.

"It looked like the skeleton was pieced back together," Booth explained. "Like with glue or something."

"They found glue on the body?" Hodgins asked him. He seemed unreasonably excited about it.

Booth gave him an annoyed look. He hadn't wanted the entire Squint Squad in on this conversation, but somehow they had wound up in it. He wasn't pleased, but they were probably all going to be necessary by the end of this investigation. Somehow, they always were.

"No," he told the frizzy-haired scientist, "There wasn't any glue. I said it was _like_ with glue."

"Like is a nonspecific word providing a comparison with no parameters to judge the object being compared to by," Zack informed him.

"Right, thanks for that, kid," Booth replied. He turned to Brennan. "So what do you think? What would do something like that?"

She frowned at him, barely looking up from the case files. Due to the state of the body, there were no X-Rays for her to squint at, which probably explained her bad mood. "You say _every_ bone was broken?" Brennan asked.

"Not broken," Booth said. "Shattered."

"You're right," Cam commented. "It would take more than a mudslide for that to happen."

"Yeah, I know," Booth replied, a little impatiently. "But what _would_ cause it?"

Everyone turned to Dr. Brennan for an answer. Predictably, she provided one. "From the extent of the damages described here, I would say that the majority of the injuries are postmortem, most likely caused by crushing. I need the actual body, or at least X-Rays to be more specific or to determine cause of death."

"What about the crushing?" asked Booth. "Was that intentional?"

"Well, the pattern of the breaks literally spells out a signed confession with motive and method from the killer," Brennan said sarcastically. Booth glared at her. "I would assume yes," she clarified, "Except I'm an objective scientist who doesn't assume."

"You're _really_ still expecting her to make assumptions like that?" grinned Cam. Booth glared at her, too.

"If it was crushed by a human," Hodgins offered, "they would have most likely used some sort of instrument that would leave behind particulates. The bones being broken and then 'fixed,' at least _something_ would have almost certainly been caught in them."

"Well, if they're as crushed as you say they are, then I probably wouldn't be able to make much of a facial reconstruction. At least, not accurately, especially if the skull was shattered and then put back together," Angela said.

"You do that all the time!" Booth complained.

"The reconstructed skulls that I used were put back together by Brennan or Zack," she explained. "An amateur would probably place at least a few pieces wrong, and that could change the entire facial structure. Think of it as doing a puzzle where the pieces may or may not have been cut, smooshed, or added on to by someone who has no idea what the final product is supposed to look like."

Booth chose not to think too carefully about this analogy. "We have a tentative ID already," he said. "There was a wallet found near the body, with some clothes that we think may have belonged to the victim. Driver's license said it was John Herman."

"John Herman?" asked Hodgins. "Isn't he that politics guy?"

"Political commentator with a _lot_ of influence," said Cam. "Half the politicians in the country do what he tells them to, they're so afraid he'll turn the voters against them. Scary thing is, he probably could."

"Sheep," Hodgins muttered, but uncharacteristically left it at that.

"Right, well, the FBI, Homeland Security, and every politician and reporter in the country wants it confirmed as soon as possible. If it turns out to be Herman, I _really _don't want to have to be the one who has to explain this to the press."

"Or his family," Angela commented. Noticing more than a few blank looks, she explained, "Herman had a gigantic family, something like eleven siblings and most of them are married with five kids or something. They're also notoriously protective of everyone they're even a little bit related to."

"And they're insane," Hodgins added.

"They're all rich and influential, most of them do some sort of business." It was clear from her voice just how boring Angela thought that was. "At least one of the Hermans is involved in a scandal every year, but the rest of their family always manages to pull them out of it."

"And they're insane," Hodgins added.

"So basically," said Cam, "These are people who can and will do anything they want, especially for family, such as the man who was just brutally murdered?"

"_And_ they're insane!" Hodgins added for the third time.

"You've said that before," Zack told him. "And we heard you."

"Look, is there anything more you can tell me?" asked Booth before the conversation could get too out of hand.

Brennan frowned at the case files one more time before handing them back to him. "Not without the X-Rays or the body," she replied.

"Fine." Booth grabbed the file from her hand. "We're going to the body."

"What?" asked Brennan. "No, no, I have work here, I can't just take off whenever the FBI is investigating something on the other side of the country. I have bones to identify, I still have to finish the report for the _last_ case you sent me, I have to…"

"Bones!" interrupted Booth. She stopped and glared at him. "I don't need a to-do list. What I _need_ is a forensic anthropologist to identify a body for me. I could just ask Goodman to make you go, if you want."

"Take Zack," she retorted. "I'm busy."

"I've never been to Oregon," commented Zack. He was ignored.

"Hey, if Zack gets to go, I want to go, too!" exclaimed Hodgins. "Besides, the last time you tried to mail something to me from that far away it didn't even come. We could've solved the case with that evidence!"

"We did solve the case," Cam reminded him.

"Yeah, but we could've done it much faster!" Hodgins retorted.

"Have they moved the bones, or just left them as a crime scene?" asked Angela.

"They're still there, the FBI told the park rangers to make sure it was undisturbed," Booth said.

"Then I might be able to reconstruct the skull as it originally was, if I could see how the person who put it back together in the first place did it without it having been contaminated."

"Maybe we should all go," suggested Cam.

A chorus of agreement from the team greeted that suggestion. Brennan, the only dissenting voice, was the loudest.

"No, no, no!" she exclaimed. "You go if you want, but I have to stay, I'm _busy_!"

"Oh, come on, Bones, do you have anything that can't wait a week?" asked Booth.

"Yes! I have very important business to attend to and I can't put it off."

"Not even for a murder?"

"No!" she replied. "I'm not leaving this lab until I've finished at least a third of my immediate tasks."

Twenty minutes later, however, she was in Sweets' office with Booth.

* * *

Sweets was feeling a little overwhelmed as he tried to sort out yet another argument between his favorite partners. As they were both talking at once, it was fairly difficult, and he was expending all of his energy just to understand it, never mind coming up with a resolution. The appointment was nearly half over before he finally had a basic understanding of what was going on between the two.

"Dr. Brennan, could you tell me exactly _why_ you don't want to go to Oregon with Agent Booth?" he asked.

"Because I'm busy, because he has no right to simply drag me off wherever he wants whenever he decides I'm needed, because he could just as easily take Zack without inconveniencing me…"

"Inconveniencing?" demanded Booth. "Since when is _solving a murder_ an inconvenience? I thought you liked catching the bad guys. Giving these people's family some closure…"

"I do gain a significant amount of pleasure from our work, however, I have other responsibilities that I have to attend to regardless of whether you feel that you need me!"

"Agent Booth, why _do_ you feel that you need Dr. Brennan on this case?" Sweets asked. "Her assistant is available, as she stated. Do you have a personal reason for wanting her to work with you instead of him?"

"No! No, there's no personal… look, it's just that Bones is the best forensic anthropologist there is, and I want to work with the best."

"Zack's a perfectly good forensic anthropologist," retorted Brennan. "I trained him myself, and I can be reached over video link at any time."

"But _you_, not Dr. Addy, is Agent Booth's partner," Sweets commented. "I think that deep down inside, you'll realize, Agent Booth, that that's really why you want to work with Dr. Brennan."

"I _already_ work with Bones, she's my partner. I just need her in on this case." Booth sighed and repositioned himself. "Look, this guy has been smashed to bits, okay. We don't know whether he was put back together right, and this could be the most-destroyed body we've ever come across. _Logically_," he stopped to glare at Brennan before continuing, "We should have the best working on this case."

Brennan didn't answer, and after a moment, Sweets jumped in. "Agent Booth, you mentioned that the rest of the team at the Jeffersonian wanted to join you in the field on this investigation."

"Yeah, the squints wanted in, sure, but I'll be damned if I'm taking them over Bones."

"You won't have to," Brennan replied nonchalantly. "I've decided that I'll come with you to Oregon after all."

"You what?" Booth turned around. "When did you decide this?"

"Just now," she said. "You made your points very clearly, and although I have full confidence in Zack's abilities, this investigation may be a very difficult one and it is only logical to have the most experienced forensic anthropologist available working on it."

"Well…" Booth was at a loss for words. "Oh. Okay. That's… that's good."

"Is it? Good."

"Yeah, great."

"Just a minute," Sweets interrupted. "I think that you may have a very good point, Agent Booth."

The partners stared at him. "About what?" asked Booth.

"I think that, considering the depth that this investigation will probably require, the entire team should be present at the site of the murder." Sweets leaned back in his chair, obviously pleased with himself.

"Field trip for the squints?" asked Booth. "This could be worse than taking a bunch of preschoolers to the zoo. I know, I chaperoned Parker's class once…" he stopped to shudder. "Field trips. Not good."

"I hardly think that a preschool class viewing exotic animals in cages is an appropriate comparison for a team of highly-trained experts examining a murder victim."

"What, so _you_ think we should take everybody?" asked Booth.

"No," she replied. "I think the chaos that would most likely be caused by that action would far outweigh the gains that would be made by them being actually present at the site, rather than communicating long-distance."

"Right," said Booth. "So we're agreed."

"Yes. We are in agreement." Brennan turned to Sweets. "We have agreed that you are wrong, Dr. Sweets."

"No, I think this would be great," he replied, unfazed. "Look, I've been looking at you two as a partnership, and you are, obviously, you're great partners…"

"Thank you," said Brennan.

"But you're not _just_ partners, you're part of a _team_. And I haven't had a chance to examine the entire team in action yet."

"So what you're saying is that you want to use a murder investigation to make us into your little lab rats and that you want to come, _too?_" demanded Booth.

"Yes, that's _exactly_ what I'm saying!"

"Why does everybody want in on my case?!"

"Just a moment ago you were saying that you wanted me to come!" protested Brennan.

"I do! I want you to come, but I don't need to be babysitting your Squint Squad and a twelve-year-old."

"Agent Booth, again, I remind you, that I am twenty-two, and a highly-trained psychologist. Your hostility, however, does not change my views that it would be extremely beneficial for your team to work together outside of the lab, on a 'field trip,' as you put it.

"I agreed." Brennan turned to her partner. "You said that this case required the best. As Dr. Sweets has observed, all of us would qualify."

Booth crossed his arms. "I don't care. No matter what either of you say, I am _not_ taking the entire Squint Squad all the way to Oregon on _my_ investigation!"

But, of course, he did.


End file.
